We are funny

We are funny bunch of creatures. Self contradictory in every bit. We love to live in illusions and then we preach religion, honesty, goodness, noble thoughts and other virtues twisted as per our convenience.



We live with the Ostrich approach and think no one is watching or no one understands but we understand each other well for we all do the same, lie the same fashion, justify in more or less same idiotic ways and are equally bizarre and funny.



We love to live with the feeling that the present state we are in isnt the best one for us. Rather things would have been much better if we had what we dont have now, say a better job, a better house, better spouse, better furniture. but what looks better or should i say the most appealing immediately after we have acquired it seems to be worse than what we had before. the better job then looks worse than the one we were one, the present girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse turns out to be better than the Ex:- ) and we never stop comparing, the better car doesnt look nice anymore parked outside the house because a friend bought a bigger and a better car than mine. Uffffffffffff how complex we all are. We crib and crib and crib. We always do. Dont we? We dont even spare our parents on many occasions and somebody else's parents seem like the best.



But amidst all this have we ever thought when we get something the charm dies which is but natural. the curiosity kills the cat and we are on a quest for something new, more adventurous, thrilling and moreover new. It is good and bad in many ways. Good in the sense that it makes us progressive, brings in new discoveries and inventions and revolution and bad that we forget the thin line between respecting what we have and what we need and replacing the old with the new arising out of convenience or need.



Nothing can give us permanent happiness and what looks better right now may not look the same later. What we dont have today is because we have some things which we might not have had when we had what we dont have:-). it is always important to appreciate what we have now, its value and what we have achieved so far for there are many envying us for all that while we sit and sulk in a corner throughout and then sit and sulk more when we lose it to what we thought was better.

Death - Live with it and enjoy the moment

My grandmother's death on the 22nd Dec 2011, brought an end to a generation which saw two world wars, change in the system, children, grandchildren and great grandchildren, death of people and what not in a century. Yeah she lived a long and healthy life but died a death which brought end to her physical sufferings of old age. She also left many questions in the mind of many. I guess everyone who leaves this world leaves behind one's near and dear ones and sometimes strangers too guessing and questioning many things about life, its existence and the "UNKNOWN".



The immediate members in the family of the deceased starts wondering if they did justice in the relationship, if the apology was given before the death, if the deceased was taken care of, if there was any lapse from their end and some even keep thinking during the entire process about what if they have to spend from their pockets, or wished the person died soon for the person wasnt in good terms with him/her. It is all about me then also and it is all about me even after the person is gone. How will live, how we will manage, what he/she left for us and the human thoughts keep churning and churning.



"Atma manthan" also perturbs some after death in the family for probably when th realisation of it hits you hard some day. It may come sooner or later but no one escapes the feeling and till one doesnt go through it one cannot relate to it. Like Sarang says our faith has to be shaken for that first, for we all live with this feeling that God is there and will take care of us. We mostly live with the beliefs passed on from generation to generation be it the customs, way of worship, the stories of Moksha, Salvation, heaven and hell and good and bad deeds. It all comes to a halt when nerve wrecking incidents of in lives torment our mind. An early death, miscarriage, disability, financial suffering, illness or let us say suffering of any kind. That is when we question God and it's existence and sometimes also bribe God with our various ways of worship.When things work in our favour god is there and when things dont we question it's existence. but why do we all forget the basic fact that one day we all have to die. We are all born with this fact. it is the mind which controls our thoughts. But we keep questioning for we are humans and till we dont get something it is the most sought after. And since we dont have a control over death despite our progressive ways and how it takes our near and dear ones we fear it and live with the fear because like I said it is all about "I". The day before yesterday I was watching this program in Discovery which showed how Humans are striving hard to live forever and the ways and techniques being tried every now and then. Such is the desperation....lol.



Till date we have not been able to TAKE CARE OF ONE SINGLE PLANET EARTH, leave aside finding new planets and intelligent life around us and then we think of living forever and not let nature recycle bodies in its own way called "death".



Soul is energy which dissipates. It doesnt have any shape. As long as it is in our body the body holds value. The same body after death is burned, buried something which for an alive human is painful. Even the slightest of burn is painful and after death my dadi, my nani or say all our dear ones are burnt or buried. Well this too is a cycle of life. We are born, then we bring in life and the life brings in another life, leaves it to the society for its growth and progress and developments and ultimately fufills the cycle. Parents think a child is theirs, children think one has a set of parents but to me the truth is like nothing is ours.We are part of this universe and will merge in it in the end. It all belongs to this nature. We are mere role players and we come in many forms, many births to do the task assigned. We come alone, go alone, and live with all the emotions till our brains are alive. So why worry so much. Why blame God so much and try and control each and every situation of our lives. let it be. Embrace it, empathise with whoever goes through it and live with compassion. live in the moment.

Life in the US-- for all Indians who look for a greener pasture and reminds me of the frog in the well

Being an Indian,born and raised in an old colonial state of Assam and then spent over a decade in NCR, I grew up with a fascination towards the West and the life out in all the developed countries like any other person would in a third world nation.From imported stuff, to branded clothes, to western music to outfits, from visiting expats to friends, relatives and whoever travelled for a short stint to India with their bags full of so caled IMPORTED Items, were looked with awe and admiration. Many aspired and some made it to these countries and settled there for good and also a handful in our known groups returned too and till sometime back were called failures if they did so.

I too was no different and my first abroad trip to the UK was one where I went and came back with oodles of stories to tell, photographs to flaunt and branded stuffs to brag about. Least did I know that it is humans only who live in other places till I started staying in the US.

Till I got married I made more enemies than friends because of my straightforward and extreme honest nature.I still do but life mellows you down. Half of the curious set of cousins, old friends and relatives started calling and adding me in facebook from nowhere just to see who the guy is. Some liked being called my cousin, a friend and what not just for the fact that I stay in the US, as if the US has people living here with no problems, hassle free lives. A funny few set of people till date think only their sons and daughters can travel the world, make good money, have the best of everything. What an irony!

Living in this great country has been a great eye opener for me too. It made me realise that no matter where you go, life and it's struggles never end. They may be in different forms and all that glitters is definitely not gold. Where this country has an organised way of living, people pay a heavy price in form of taxes and Insurance to maintain the same. Buying a pair of glasses or your year's supply of Contact lenses cost you a fortune despite the Isurance you pay every month. That is when Indian postal service and USPS along with your point of contact in India come to your rescue by making it a better deal.
How much we envied students who would come here to study and imagined a funfilled life for them. How wrong we are and have been in thinking so. When I listen to my husband's struggle stories out here while he was studying to get a degree from one of the most prestigious Universities in the US, or would say any student here, I only have tears in my eyes and realise how our parents spent on us while we were students and comfortasbly we lived. Be it partying and splurging on friends who are non existent in our lives today, or buying expensive gifts for boyfriends and girlfriends with whom you broke up ages ago. Atleast students in India who live a life away from parents and those who can afford a basic full education in big cities have no clue how tough it gets for a teenager here the day one grows up to a teen. To pay for one's own college, work alongside to pay for college and also study in a busy environment to make a career and then live with the fear of pink slip when start working for probably do two three shift jobs unless and until you are a Professional here.This just reminds me of the guy helping me out the shoe store who saw this netbook in my hand which I was carrying to trade in for a better one. He told his story of how his neice broke his laptop and the fact that he would not be able to buy another one till next year. I felt like giving my brand new netbook away to him. However called up bro in law and arranged for a spare laptop to gift him away. It reminded me of old days when I bought my first laptop on EMI.

The other day I was at the Driver's Licence center for my Licence work and saw a man struggling to get out of his car and also take out his Oxygen mask. He had come there to give his Road test. I immediately got down the car and although hesitant not to hurt his self respect asked if he needed help. In return he just said," No Thanks." I just left wondering how has he been managing without anyone. For many it is the same story here and it makes you so strong from within. The depression rate here is terrible. People cant do much about it for there is so much to do. Earn a livelihood, no matter how much it snows, or how ill you are, you gotta raise kids sometimes singlehandedly too, pay the bills, do the grocery, the laundry, the carpet cleaning, and dare you fall sick a fortunes of your paycheck goes in a mere checkup or tests with Insurance as a curse sometimes. No wonder in a live in relationship they split the bills and it is definitely justified.

I love the spirit of this country which accomodates people from all corners of this world, still has honesty left and love animals and humans equally. At he same time I miss my country and things my country has to offer which I dont get here making me realise at the same time that every place has its own flaws and positive things. What media depicts or people tell may not be true altogether.

I have come to a point where a Coach Handbag, or a BMW doesnt appeal any more because these are only a few brands we heard in India and thought that is all and whoever has it is the best person to be associated with. Diamonds are precious for we made them precious. I doubt anybody is going to check my ears if they are real or fake. A pure leather bag or a jacket is something I havent bought for ages now after I got to know the reality behind how it is made.

I still like to shop but only for things that are worth its price or I genuinely need one. I havent yet become a saint altogether renouncing the world but have learnt to donate the extra penny to someone more needy somewhere.

So in the end "Imported" is something that is made in a country with cheap labor and then sold at an exorbitant price by making it a brand adding some very big names to it.Whereas who slog their behinds to make that no not even get an iota of their efforts.

My last piece of advice to Indians who still get wooed with Honda Accord and Toyota brands ------grow up for they are not the best cars but the best selling cars for their affordability and resale value. Mercedes and Audi are just two names you know in India apart from BMW. Google and find some more names to flaunt. Louis Vuitton isnt the only high selling brand in the world and to conclude with, Even after you own all this or empty the entire section of Macy's here if you cant be true to yourself and do that extra bit for someine in need you can never be happy. All this will be left behind when we kick the buckets:-)!

Jai Hind and Love you Life.

New York City

It has been a while since I last blogged. Well they have been here and there in some paper, some diary but finally I am making it public for all those who have been following my post in the past four years.

Manhattan is a place that every Karan Johar movie somewhere had some scenes from probably with the most famous Brooklyn Bridge, the Manhattan bridge and the skyscrapers and the Actors getting lost in the crowd of the city that never sleeps.

Sarang my husband never liked the place, but he never liked taking me around in Mussoorie too his hometown. Probably because he was so used to living in these places. I got a chance to stay in Jersey City for six months and living in a Tri State Area and ninty minutes away from the Newyork City, a visit to Brother In Law's place once a month makes us roam about the most famous Time Square and get lost in the crowd from all over the world.The first visit will mesmerise you and you will be only walking and walking ( did I tell you this is the city where people only walk and walk and walk:-)? ) and figuring out the routes with a gps or a map. The hustle bustle, the fashion parade, the stars walking past by, the Limousines, the diverse ethnicity, the lights and brightness leaves you startled. By the end of the day you would end up calling your mom and dad sharing your experiences again and again.

But that was the tourist visit right? As you start staying there or around the city and see it more closely you cannot stop smelling Urine at the Subway, or be able to relate to the hawkers and vendors on the street selling fake handbags, or Food Items like Fruits, Juices Kabobs and Pretzels. The pushy Sales Guy forcing you to buy tickets of some Comedy Show and how could I not mention the Yellow Taxi of Nework City which always reminds me of my reckless driving in India and how everybody else learns to drive like a cab wala in India. The Taxi Drivers in Newyork seem to have spent some time of their lives in India for they drive as any Indian in India would.

Newyorkers love to be called fashionistas so they would do all they could to be called one. A slight drop in the temperature and comes out all coats, scarves and fashionable boots, but you get to see some skin even in this biting cold if you happen to be at a place where your image would go down if you are not dressed as one of them, So what your heels worsen your feet, so what you have to walk a lot in the City, so what you die of flu, but the Fashionista Title doesnt have to go away. And since everyone else wears Hoops and Loops, and pretty Necklaces, wear them even if you cant carry them well or look horrible with them on:-). Accessories look great and I too love to collect them but somehow being comfortable for me now is more important than looking stylish and also foolish sometimes.

The city has its own charm and no matter how many times you must have been there, every once in a while when you visit the city from a quiet peaceful and green suburb, coming back home always makes you feel better. But for many it is the place to be and they love the place so much. My husband and I can only be occasional lovers of the Noise, the people and Sreet Shows, The food and a great stroll at the Times Square. It always reminds me of Gurgaon which I call the next Manhattan for its contarsting features like Manhattan.

Sabak

Logon ne sahi kahaa hai

Nakal ke liye bhi akal chahiye hoti hai

kaatne ke liye phasal chahiye to

ugane ke liye mehnat chahiye hoti hai.

ladwane ke liye dimaag chahiye to

divide and rule ko barkarar rakhne ke liye samay befijool chahiye

Chanakya chale gaye lekin apne peeche apni toli chor gaye

ghar ghar me baithe yeh rajnitigya saari hado ko tod gaye

Mare hue Buzoorgon ke gadhe murdo se lekar paida hue bachchon ko bhi na chora

Hath pair sirf na toda apne meethe jubaan ki chaaku se dil ke har ghao ko tumne phoda

Jitendar ki matki na samjho ise meri jaan

Dil he yeh mera

Tathaiya tathaiya ho karke toote tumhare joote na ronde ise

dhool me yeh toote tukde kahin kho jayenge

Kehti reh gaya upar likhe yeh baatein but itni shor me chup gayi uki Awaaz

Bewakoof chote dimaag wale ne dikha diya woh hai chaalbaaz

Madhur Muskaan se kaatte gaye woh saare jadh

Bhoomika band woh badhate gaye kamino ka gadh

Par kisi ne khoob kaha hai jhooth ki ayu nahi hoti lambi

ek din mile do aise ajnabi

kar rakha tha isi divide and rule ne unhe door

baaton hi baaton me ho gaya dono ke man mutaaw kafoor.

Phir soojh boojh aur samajhdari se trast kiya in bewakoofon ke iraade

ek aur ek gyarah hue yeh dono seedhe saadhe

Are mere Priya jan

baste ho jo tum har khaandan me

Ek baat yaad rakhna hamesha

apne koo karmo se jaaoge jald peek dan me

Nek Iraado se jahaan tum jeette sabka dil

in ochi harkaton ne ab kar diya hai tumhara muh sil

Isliye kehte hai doston sada lambi socho

karm achche rakho aur dukhyare ke asoon pocho.

Karm se pehchane jaoge tum is jahaan me

achche karmo pe taarife hongi tumhari shaan me

Bade seedhe shabdo me kiya hai maine bayan

saalon se maana gaya hai buzoorgon ka yeh gyaan.

Dhaagon ko gaathon se jodti gayi

Main sahi tum sahi aur sahi hai hum
ek din na main rahungi na tum rahoge aur na rahenge hum.

jo koshish kar humne rishte ko bandhna chaha
bhoole naate yaad aye unhe unke toote dor se bandhna chaha
woh chote chote gaanth har toote rishte pe padte gaye

Koi mujhe aake sikhaye bina gaanth koi dor kaise judte hain
ganthbandhan ke is vigyaan ka na hai mujhe pata
Main to ek aam insaan ke tarah apni galtiyon se seekhna jaanti hoon
khoi rishte ko dobara se seechna chahti hoon

Guzare palon ke baad in doron ko suljhate suljhate ganth badhti jaati hai
har kisi ko waqt ke sath sirf woh gaanth hi dikhti hai
kya koi koshish kar us koshish ko mahsoos karega
gaanthon ke aage bhi asmaan me kai patenge hai
Sab us haar jeet ki hod me aage badhna chahti hai
Main to kati patangon ko jod kar unke dhaagon ko lekar jodti gayii
gaanth se hi sahi magar jodti gayi
lekin is mere tere sahi galat aur poorani ranjishon ki hod me
Aur patange kat kate ke girte gayin
Un kati patangon ko main zameen se batorti gayi
Gaanthon se dhaagon ko jodti gayiin
Pal bhar ki takleefon me jab dhaagon ne kaate mere haath
Un khoon ke boondon ne dard ka abhaas dilaya

Koi un kati patangon se pooche jinke dhaagon se na kabhi nikala ek boond khoon.
Gaanthon se main un dor ko jodti gayi.

Khauf mere man ka

Na koi Aahat,na koi shor
Kabhi raat, kabhi din to kabhi bhor
Khamoshi se deti hai dastak
Dil ki dhadkan kar deti hai kamzor.

Usse aage hai kya na humein hai pata
Bas uski chintan hee pahuchati hai sihran.
Apne aas paas ke logon ke baare me soch
bhar ata hai man.

Jinke godd me hum pale bade
Jinhone humein chalna sikhaya ungli pakad
Maa ki mamta,pita ka pyaar
Behen bhaiyon se nonk jhon sage sambandhiyon se takraar
Doston ke saath kaate chand gudgudate pal jab umar thi kachchi
Na chalein hum kabhi sambhal.

Cheen kar le jati hai bina chetawni diye,
Kitni hai yeh kathor.
jahaan khushi is taraf hai aur tu hai nadi ka doosra chhorr.

Ae maut tera agaman na koi kabhi chaha hai
na shayad koi chahega
Lekin hathi hai tu bhi hamari tarah
Haar jeet ke is khel me, tune bhi baazi marna seekh liya.

Ekaant me baithe hi apni saason se lagta hai dar
Kaun jaane kab sunayi de yeh dastak aur aant ho yeh zindagi ka safar..

Maa ki woh khilkhilati hasin pita ka woh pyaar
ek dar sab se sath chutega dil yaad dilata hai baar baar.

Moh na tyaag paa rahi hoon main
Pyaar se na vanchit karo mujhe
Ae mrityu tere aage jhukti hoon main
Kaun jane zindagi ka diya mera kab bujhe.

My Father and I

Like any other child I would always say my daddy is the best dad in the world.In fact almost every dad is the best dad for his child and if there has to be a competition I am sure there cannot be any winner, for the competitors would pull each others's hair for giving one's dad more point:-).....

Well Well Well.....now that I am married and live happily(ahem ahem) with my husband dear, who leaves no stone unturned to keep me happy, take care of this heavy duty responsibility , I occasionally brag dad was this dad was that and it goes on till I realise a girl can no matter how much she loves her husband will always have her daddy dear in her heart.

My mum tells me stories of how my father would baby sit to both the sisters when we were little.We both the sisters have been raised by our dad mostly since mom never kept well after my younger sister's birth.

My childhood was a lonely one till I got Tulika to play with.But daddy would always be there when Mumma would scare me away with her facepack,Hide me behind his back when she would come running after having found out that the tamarind pickle locked in the Almirah was finished by Setu.What she didnt know was that besides Setu her husband D Great also loved tamarind and was the partner in crime.

I always had something new to do, to keep my parents on my toes.Daddy would take me to the Barber Shop for hair cut and made sure I had tiniest of hair.The Barber and his skills inspired me to the T to try my hands on this temporary best thing in the world.But where was the bait? I mean hair on the heads to be scarificed for my new hobby?

There I saw Tulika and her Nanny with long hair.With false promises of chocolates which I never kept upto and rebuilding Nanny Purnima's hopes to make her love story successful with the panwala in the market, I literally bobbed Purnima's hair and used Dad's razor to give new style on Tulika's head.The result was disastrous with Mom running after me around the house.Dad again was the rescue point.His soothing way pacified mom again for the nth time and he encouraged me saying I should never give up this creative mindset(Unaware of the next upheaval in my mind).

Tulika mostly underwent my torture ever since she was born.From being packed in my school bag to be shown to my school friends to be the object of jealousy( she had equal share in all the love showered to me) which led to pack my bags and leave the house at the age of 7.It is a different thing that the suitcase had my sister's stuff after she was brought home from the hospital.I was literally pulled out from the Rickshaw I sat to leave for my uncle's place in anger and was thrashed.That day dad was the meanest in the world for me. I felt he loved me less though I was fine after sometime.

On many occasions then, I found dad the worst dad in the world when he would thrash me for my silly mistakes in Maths, for being a rebel punish me for not valuing the money which is hard earned for not buying everything that I wished for.Less did I know then what budget is, what good comes out of the truly deserved punishment for wrong deeds.

Where daddy was like a friend buying bogoris(A citrus fruit grown in Assam) and tamarind, sneaking in mom's puja ghar and breaking the coconut and replacing the same with a new one in her absence, he was a mentor in everything I did.When I started growing up, from sex talks to boyfriend issue daddy never made me feel was my father.I at times acted very difficult putting questions which were taboo topics in Indian society but he took everything clinically.From letting me watch porn just to experience what it was like to taste alcohol he let us do everything just to realise what he said was right and also every decision of ours came with a freedom to choose and live our life our way.

Parting with dad and mom was the most difficult thing when I left home for higher studies after 12th.The long long letters to them, the phone calls, emails and photo sharing were the substitute.
With the newly acquired freedom and independence which was more than before,in every thing that I did dad's face was always in front of me.There were times when the glitz and glamour encroached my identity and I let it do so but I bounced back soon.
Whenever in dilemma and even after having done something that actually hurt my dad he patiently heard me cry, shout at him, scold him, and despite all this he would say I can for who else can I open up like this.

When I started working and on his occasional visits, he would wash Tuli and my clothes, clean the kitchen, tidy the house, something that he would do even at home but here it was for us in our absence we would but be overwhelemd.A workaholic to the core, I wonder how he finds time to stay fit, exercise religiously, be so well read, a social animal,help people selflessly, never say no, write for umpteen magazines and newspapers, serve the Nation as an Advisor to the Ministry of Mines and Donor, run his Restaurant, Handle the post of Vice President of Indian Body Building Association and the list is never ending.And after all this he stays away from the limelight, stays humble, listens to the Roadside Musician with much pleasure, loves to cook for his wife and kids,is a Ramdev Bhakt and his Political Organisation and works everyday to remove corruption from the society with his new venture in taking over an NGO and planning for female education in Villages of Assam.

At the age of 61 he is a kid at heart, still steals pickles from the Fridge, get in to slight bantering with the kids in the family, and still teases his both the daughters by waking them in the middle of the night to share a stupid joke.

Sometimes when I am sit back and miss him all these memories bring tears in my eyes and at the same time makes me feel proud to be the daughter of such a human being.Not to mention the camarederie he shares with my friends.

I truly respect the hunger for knowledge, the desire to selflessly work towards the Nation's development and fearless personality of his and I miss him every moment.I know he is going to live with me forever in my memories.I always pray to God I am born as his daughter in my next birth too.Like any other day I am waiting for his phone call.

Love you dad.